After two years I'm back on this site. I'm now 15 and 16 in Feb. and I'm on here because the internet says writing helps, so here I am writing when I really should be in bed sleeping as my first day of school after the Christmas holidays begins tomorrow. not that anyone would care obviously because I'm just some silly school girl writing utter nonsense on an account that know one reads. but. in need to get a point out there and this is it:
     I think its so funny that people watch films about depression or anxiety or anorexia and all sorts of other mental illnesses and they come out the cinema like "that was so emotional and deep, I cant believe things like that happen in the real world". but. as soon as you tell them that you, in fact, have depression and that you've had it for ages, and you stand there waiting for hem to help you, to accept you, and they, in return, start to laugh or look at you funny and say "you're too happy to be depressed" or "no you're not, you're just sad everybody is sad" they tell you that you need to 'get over it' because "others have it worse". And you sit there thinking that you shouldn't have told them, because, it's made you worse - and of course they wouldn't have understood and there must seriously be something wrong with you... maybe its just me.
       If you can't already tell I do indeed suffer from severe clinical depression. but. because my mom thinks its just a stage (clearly just a simple two to three year stage obviously!) she has decided to not get me any medication or taken me to a councillor. I thought this would be a good thing to do, you know share me feelings with the world and so on. but I can't see the point even though I thought there was the start of this post, now, I'm feeling doubtful and even though I will most likely end up posting this I want you to know that even though I think that it's impossible for me to be happy, I really hope your happy. wherever you are